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Name: Tatyana
Birthday: 7/5/1900
Gender: Female
Interests: pictures pictures pictures... oh well... and some chE silliness :)
Expertise: ;) *giggle*giggle*
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
12/7/2003
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| I went running tonight, I broke a pattern of sitting down on my chair at home and feeling exhausted after I get home from work as it's getting dark. I was met by a cool cool night with a nice, breeze. It reminded me of Southern California nights which would turn so cold after a warm, hot day, and you'd feel the breeze of the desert. It reminded me of Kevin's blog entry, how one wiff of something can send you into a world of memories and coziness.
I think when you first start growing up, your parents teach you patterns that guide you through your life. Wake up around this time, eat or don't eat breakfast, get your hw done right after school or after some playtime. Some patterns you make yourself, sneaking candy while studying, running after classes, or morning before anyone is awake. =) Things you take for granted and don't think about until they suddenly don't fit or are thrown out from under you.
Sometimes patterns grow heavy. Sometimes you realize you're not happy. But then do you look for new patterns? Do you look for something that takes you out of the day-to-day? You can try a new food, call a friend you never called regularly before. I loved calling Karen because despite all our constant chatter, a phone was a completely new setting. And we talked about the randomest things, went down paths we've never done before - gay marriages, religions, friends, family.
But what if new patterns grow so heavy and hard later, when you have to question every step, action, word. How do you know what the right pattern is, how hard do you work to make new patterns, new traditions, new bonds to share. How brave should you be in throwing out old patterns? Is it wrong to then reach back for them? If you're brave and quick to throw out old patterns, should you be just as quick about ridding yourself of new ones.
When they throw you in a new country, with new food, new language, new obstacles where before you took things for granted, what do you hold onto. Do you try to find as many patterns that make you feel at home? Or is that fighting against the experience? Do you call your old friends or find new ones. Or a bit of both. This is so vague. haha. I am excited to come home. I am not sure how I feel about many things. But I know I am more than ready to fly home and see my friends and family. And I love being young and free and knowing I can do whatever I want, change any pattern that hurts me. And I apprecite the culture and strength that surrounds me that gives me the power to do that. :) Optimizing my patterns for an output variable of happiness.
In contrast to the nostalgic blog entry, I am not going to miss the clouds of smoke, the squished, bloody pidgeons lying on the ground on my way to work, the lack of green and the lack of food and kitchen available to me. Lack of internet, phone connection. Lack of dryers and having to handwash too many things.
At the same time I am going to miss Muller yogurt, amazing tomatoes, grapes and apples. Skinny, fashionable girlies. Smiley, young and happy Novartis employees. Wonderful weather that treats my skin so well. Picci con cinghiale, gelato, tiramisu. Beautiful rolling hills at every turn, wonderful seas, history all around me.
Bittersweet. But I am more than ready to be back in my home, Jersey patterns.
Well my soul checked out missing as I sat listening
To the hours and minutes tickin away
Yeah, just sittin' around waitin for my life to begin
While it was all just slippin away.
I'm tired of waitin for tomorrow to come
Or that train to come roarin round the bend.
I got a new suit of clothes a pretty red rose
And a woman I can call my friend
Now a life of leisure and a pirates treasure
Dont make much for tragedy
But it's a sad man my friend who's livin' in his own skin
And can't stand the company
Every fool's got a reason to feelin' sorry for himself
And turn his heart to stone
Tonight this fool's halfway to heaven and just a mile outta hell
And I feel like I'm comin home
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| http://www.lovelyish.com/714324574/top-10-cities-to-find-quality-men/
hehehe awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee
im going to CO in 2 weeks. WIN. and living in cambridge and visiting LA, bigger win!
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| It's funny, I've been so eager to get home and relax and understand people in the street and what they want, that it hit me today that I don't fully want to leave in a week.
There goes my last Saturday here and I think I'm going to miss this place.
Things were a bit simpler here, I think. I have one main big focus - do good work. And they are giving us all the tools, help, training we need. It feels good to make a difference. This is my first set of work where I clearly see how we helped with the process. Usually everything just fails a lot, but here we have to present our data every week, and a huge presentation at the end of the month, so we actively draw conclusions, rethink everything. I should do more of that for my own work. And so I can mainly focus on this one big objective and everything else starts to fall away. Except when I have to do errands across the world and it's mega painful!
I'm a bit sad to leave the beautiful women, the pretty clothes, the mild, warm weather. It's been summer up until now it seems, this last week will have drizzles so it'll be more like fall, yay boots! I'm gonna miss eating muller yogurt, taking fantastic showers w great water pressure, hearing italian radio with american music, drinking cheap, great drinks right on the street. I'm gonna miss tasting amazing tomatoes, eating out at fancy restaurants with our professor, wow its mega fancy and tasty, never had good food regularly.
At the same time I really miss the convenience and ease of america. the smiles. =) the clean, fresh air, green things, running. =) I miss free time, good internet, being in the same time zone as my faves. I miss my family and friends. Seeing this place makes me really miss Russia b/c its kinda close in building types and lifestyle.
So overall, I'm not going to rush this last week here. One day at a time. And then it's a long flight home and lots and lots of family time and hugs. =) I am really excited! And grateful for this opportunity. =)
I think it's funny btw when people post how to behave in different countries. Especially I think b/c Italy and how people act varies soooo much from area to area. Especially funny that you should be quieter in restaurants. They always tell americans to be more polite and quiet. But you should see these people! I spent the first month wondering whyyy they keep yelling at eachother. Or why certain people are always pissed. I've watched mouth agape customers fighting w servers. They are not afraid to show their feelings. I've asked people I've known better whether this person or that person is really pissed, but it's always just that that's the way they are. It's kinda intense. Their voices are not melodic or quiet, they are loud and sometimes harsh. And very emotional. hehehe
If you thought I was emotional... hehe Italy would be a bit of a shocker. =)
It's def entertaining though!
I should sleep, gnight
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| They are... very crazy about their driving. everyone is suddenly in a hurry, while at work or in line, they never ever hurry.
So far, I've seen bus drivers yell at police about their driving... whatttt.... I've been thrown around the bus on every turn, although now I got my stance and holding on tightly down.
And today, the 8:04 bus decided to pass the 7:49am bus which was mega later due to all the people I think. But we got passed! so does that make the 8:04 bus automatically a 7:49 bus?! I am mega confused.
10.5 days and I will be home =)
I want thai food, sleep, running, lumberjack breakfast with milkshake. nommm
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| I'm not a fan. In America, I'd consciously try to hold my breath whenever I walked by anyone who smoked. Moving to Boston was hard in that sense because sooo manyyy people were smoking on the street, sometimes you couldn't walk the whole way without breathing some in.
Well that was child's play relative to Europe! haha Okay, Italy, but based on stereotypes, everywhere. Hehe and especially based on my experiences in Ukraine and Russia...
Here, it's nonstop, every corner, everywhere. You cannot hold your breath forever, you're bound to breathe it in. Every night when I come home, my hair smells like smoke. Sometimes my clothes too if you hang out around the wrong areas at work or someone opens a door to lab from outside and smoke comes in.Your coworkers are regularly surrounded by a smell of smoke, not like strong, but faint and definitely there.
Well what bothers me the most is my progression in my bodily response to smoke. I used to cough and feel gross from breathing it in, especially while running, since you cannot hold your breath for long and you're bound to turn a corner and breathe in a nice big cloud! Well, lately, my body no longer reacts adversely to this smoke, and sometimes it even doesn't smell bad. =( Which greately bothers me. I think my lungs and body are getting used to it. I probably breathed in a pack or two worth of second hand smoke!
And it makes me slightly wonder about what would smoking be like. Everyone in my family has either smoked for a prolonged period of time or has tried it... I have never ever touched a cigarette. And when I think about dull skin and lack of breathing power during my runs - I realize I never will. Not worth it. Not worth the risk of getting addicted. Do not want to be like the lady who presented to us during the first day and she started to cough up a lung, while laughing it off "too many cigarettes" she said and people laughed. Except she's in her 30's and that is sad.
So yeah, cannot wait to be back to where smoking is not very cool. And to green, pretty things. =)
Gnight world
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